Welcome to my world...

Hi everyone and welcome to my little piece of the world!

It has been evident to me since I was in about seventh grade, that I love writing and it is a talent I have been blessed with . It wasn't until I reached the ripe old age of 28 though, that I realized God had a much bigger plan for the gift he had given me.

Through blogging on MySpace, I was able to reach not only those that I knew in my own life, but also complete strangers and was amazed at how just my "ramblings" had helped so many people to be inspired, encouraged, or just to think about things in a new way.

From there, it grew into an inspirational column in The Charlotte Observer, then a religious news column in The Statesville Record & Landmark, a speaking engagment for a women's church group and now, a gig as a religion news freelance writer for The Charlotte Observer.

The writing that is closest to my heart though is not the news reporting, but the words that come from my soul - the words that I know God puts there not only to help me to understand life better, but also those around me.

I hope you feel encouraged, enlightened and inspired but what you read here and of course, I look forward to hearing back from you too!

Monday, April 11, 2011

Desert University

So as has been the case for the last couple weeks, I found myself strangely (or not actually) choked up at the end of my church service tonight.  I know it's something you hear a lot (at least if you go to a good church), in fact, it was part of the video package they showed before the service tonight... one of our church staff members talking about how he felt when he first starting attending and how he thought the pastor must've had his living room bugged because it seemed he was speaking directly about him each week.  Well, I have felt the same way and tonight was just another step in an experience that is so much bigger than me.  The "Desert University" experience as our pastor put it in his message tonight.

When we find ourselves lacking in some area of our life, feeling as though we are discontent with everything and we are in the "desert".  However, instead of worrying and focusing on how discontent we are, we should be patient, trusting and grateful during these times.  The times spent in the Desert University, is when God is trying to teach and discipline us.  There is a much larger lesson going on then what we are usually aware of.  When we are feeling furthest from God is when he most likely is paying us the most personal attention.

I personally know exactly what area(s) I have been feeling discontent with in my life recently.  I have used that exact word.  Expressing my lack of contentment, happiness and peace.  I felt confused, frustrated, sad, irritated and sometimes hopeless over the situation.  Like no matter what I did, the situation wasn't changing.  But now I realize what I was in indeed DOING was worrying, questioning and not trusting.  The message tonight reminded us that worrying is to not trust God.  That is exactly what I have been doing.  Worrying, thinking, analyzing and trying so hard to MAKE my situation change.  When instead I should just be present in the moment, peacefully listening for direction and grateful even if my situation is not exactly as I would like it to be.  When I realize that God is working on me bigtime right now, it all makes sense in a way that hours of worrying and overthinking couldn't ever achieve.

The areas I am discontent in are real.  The things I was worried about are really the current state of affairs.  BUT... again to quote our pastor, God will let you go through periods of hunger, but he will never let you starve to death.  There is a reason why God has removed the things he has from my life, there is a reason why there are certain things that are still missing from my life, there is a reason why some of the attempts to change the situations (whether by me or others) have not worked out, there is a reason why I am being "broken down".  It is not abandonment or something to be sad or angry over.  Instead, it is God loving me so much that he will continue to work in my life until I am completely dependent on him, as I should be.  Until I finally stop focusing on a hundred different things in a hundred different directions.  Until I finally stop trying to control things... fix things... worry myself to death... until he finally has my full and undivided attention and I realize...

Oooooohhh.... so THAT'S what all this has been about...

in that case.... THANK YOU GOD.

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